I recently celebrated my 48th birthday and spent some time reflecting on the past few years. All the challenges I have faced and the impact chronic illness has had on my life. Fast forward to 2020, I realize with everything going on with COVID-19/Coronavirus, that my emotions have fluctuated from good to bad in a matter of a few minutes. It’s easy to become fearful of the unknown as we all try our best to get used to our new normal. To navigate the reality of the changes in our daily routine and to wonder what each new day will bring. I must admit that I try to limit the amount of news I take in each day as it can be quite overwhelming. I put my hope and trust in God, knowing he is in control.
When thinking about my journey, what do my Good Days look like? These are the days when my symptoms seem to be in check and I am able to navigate through the day with minimal issues. Some days I feel so good, I forget I’m sick. I am able to do a little more than the previous day. I am able to be present in family interactions, chat a little longer on the phone without losing my train of thought (short term memory loss) and do more around the house without feeling like I’m about to pass out. I look forward to these days, where I feel a little more like myself. While it may not look the way I want it to look, I am still very grateful.
Then there those days when I am reminded of how my symptoms continue to ebb and flow with new treatment and medications. Insert Bad Day: At times it is easy for me to get caught up in my emotions and feel sorry for myself and become bitter about being sick, really sick and for a long time. The flare ups, the brain fog and fatigue can feel like a lot to handle at times. Some might think it’s ok for me to feel frustrated given all I deal with on a daily basis, but it’s important for me to stay the course and stay focused on the promises of God. To remember that in this life there will be challenges, but joy WILL come in the morning.
Lastly, I look forward to each New Day and all that it has to offer. Each day is a fresh start, a new opportunity to experience God’s love, to encourage others and to get one step closer to living out God’s purpose for my life. I know this illness is my testimony to others about the goodness of God. Throughout my entire journey He has been with me, provided for me and my family and protected me. “I know the plans I have for you” Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me and I believe this too shall pass. My hope is that by sharing my journey with chronic illness, others are Empowered | Encouraged | Inspired to never give up no matter what you are facing. I continue to pray for others who are facing challenges knowing that we will get through this together!
XO & Be Safe,