As I reflect on this past year, I realize it’s been a year for lots of growth! Growth in ways I never could have imagined. You see 2019 has been a challenge for me and my family as I have continued to battle Chronic Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. As a result, I have been unable work. I spend a lot of time home alone while my husband is at work and the kids are at school. It’s during these moments that I spend time with the Lord, reading my bible, reading devotions and having my own worship service through song.
It has been hard because during those times spent home alone, the enemy (Satan) invites himself in and tries to cause me to doubt God. He does this by whispering lies to me when I am at my weakest point, which is most likely during an IV infusion or when I’m feeling really ill. It’s during those moments he tells me that I will never be healed, that my husband will leave me because he didn’t sign up for all of this. He has basically tried to get me to believe that because of my illness God has no use for me. While I know this is not true, it can been hard to fight the enemy when you’re sick. Some days I feel like the enemy is sitting in my room waiting for me to wake up each day so he can torture me. It’s awful how he preys on the weak, those who really love God and are trying to live out the purpose He has for us. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God has a plan for me and I believe that with all my heart. I choose to stand in faith and will use this illness as a testimony of the goodness of God.
Sometimes people will ask me, “What if God doesn’t heal you?” Well, I am already healed by what Jesus did on the cross for me over 2000 years ago. The bible tells me that “By His stripes, I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5). Now for me, that means I will either be healed on this side of heaven or on the other side of heaven when I transition from this life. One way or another I will be healed. Don’t get me wrong, I am doing better every day, though I’m not 100%. If I don’t see healing on this side of heaven, I am reminded in Daniel 3:18 “And if not, He is still good”!
This year I have grown deeper in my relationship with God and my faith remains strong. My life goal is to help others who are struggling with chronic illness and to share the goodness of God. My family started a foundation in my name as a way to meet this goal. Please check out our website when you get a chance. https://www.windyjcumberbatch.org/
Happy New Year!