2019, A Year of Growth

As I reflect on this past year, I realize it’s been a year for lots of growth!  Growth in ways  I never could have imagined.  You see 2019 has been a challenge for me and my family as I have continued to battle Chronic Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  As a result, I have been unable work.  I spend a lot of time home alone while my husband is at work and the kids are at school.  It’s during these moments that I spend  time with the Lord, reading my bible, reading devotions and having my own worship service through song. 

It has been hard because during those times spent home alone, the enemy (Satan) invites himself in and tries to cause me to doubt God.  He does this by whispering lies to me when I am at my weakest point, which is most likely during an IV infusion or when I’m feeling really ill.  It’s during those moments he tells me that I will never be healed, that my husband will leave me because he didn’t sign up for all of this.  He has basically tried to get me to believe that because of my illness God has no use for me.  While I know this is not true, it can been hard to fight the enemy when you’re sick.  Some days I feel like the enemy is sitting in my room waiting for me to wake up each day so he can torture me.  It’s awful how he preys on the weak, those who really love God and are trying to live out the purpose He has for us.  Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God has a plan for me and I believe that with all my heart.  I choose to stand in faith and will use this illness as a testimony of the goodness of God.

Sometimes people will ask me, “What if God doesn’t heal you?”  Well, I am already healed by what Jesus did on the cross for me over 2000 years ago. The bible tells me that “By His stripes, I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5).  Now for me, that means I will either be healed on this side of heaven or on the other side of heaven when I transition from this life.  One way or another I will be healed.  Don’t get me wrong, I am doing better every day, though I’m not 100%.  If I don’t see healing on this side of heaven, I am reminded in Daniel 3:18 “And if not, He is still good”!

This year I have grown deeper in my relationship with God and my faith remains strong.  My life goal is to help others who are struggling with chronic illness and to share the goodness of God.  My family started a foundation in my name as a way to meet this goal.  Please check out our website when you get a chance.  https://www.windyjcumberbatch.org/

Happy New Year!

WJC

A Day In The Life Of Me

Over the past several months I’ve been asked “so what do you do all day”?  That is such a loaded question but one I’ll try to answer here.  As you can probably imagine, I spend a lot of time alone.  My husband works four days a week and my kids are in school every day so that leaves 8-10 hours to do things like…think!  I think a lot about how my life used to be, things I used to do, places I used to go and I often wonder when my life will change for the better (and I know it will).

As a person living with chronic illness, I tend to have too much time on my hands.  I notice all the things wrong around the house, I notice how the neighbors linger with their pets in front of our house and I also have time for the all consuming pity party.  As a woman of faith, I work really hard to remind myself of God’s promises to me, that he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me.  With all that time alone, the enemy (Satan) will get in my head and make me feel like my world is coming to an end, that I am all alone is this fight for my health.  While I know this is a lie in my spirit, my flesh at times entertains these thoughts and I become depressed and anxious.  I start thinking  to myself how unfair it is that I am so sick.  Sometimes I cry, other times I scream and throw things (mostly clothes) out of anger and grief of my former life before this setback in my illness.  After some time has passed, the holy spirit reminds me what God’s word says and I snap out of it, but it’s not easy.  I am human and I get weak some times.  I try my best to keep my mind free from the lies of satan and focus on the truth that only comes from God.

During the week, I typically don’t get out of the house much, but my husband does try and get me out of the house from time to time.  He hates seeing me sit around doing nothing so he takes me to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions or will take me out on a quick date when I’m up to it.  The only thing I do for sure each week is go to church.  I can’t tell you how important that is for me.  The only way I will miss church is if I’m so sick I can’t gather up enough strength and will power to roll out of bed.  It does happen from time to time, but not often.  I try to save all my energy from the week and pour it all into Sunday.  You see, that’s a family day for me and once Sunday is over I am done for the rest of the week as it takes everything out of me to do that one thing.   Don’t get me wrong, I have some great friends who call and text me during the week to check on me and that means so much, but I am not at the point where I can go visit anyone or meet up anywhere for lunch or coffee.  I have not been able to drive since January 2018 due to my illness.  Cognition is so horrible that I forget where I’m going and have no sense of direction, I have a slow response so I would not be able to make quick decisions if needed, so that makes it hard to.  So Sunday it is!  I try to be as present as I can with my family.  School functions, football games and other major events but sometimes I just have to listen to my body and say No.  I used to push myself and just go go go, I can’t do that any longer.  It’s not healthy for me and will only delay my recovery and nobody wants that.  So I take things one day at a time and pray that God gives me what I need to make it through each day and He has never let me down.  He’s got me!

Until next time,

WJC

 

What Is Chronic Illness?

Over the past several months, I’ve had people ask me about chronic illness.  I think the reason the question is coming up more and more is because there has been such an increase in chronic illnesses over the last decade.  We’ve seen more and more celebrities come out about their struggle living with chronic illness which has been good from an awareness standpoint. For instance, Lady Gaga with Fibromyalgia, Alec Baldwin with Lyme Disease, Shania Twain with Lyme Disease and Selma Blair with MS to name a few.  I must admit, prior to becoming ill myself, I had no idea how many chronic illnesses there were nor did I realize how many people and families were impacted.  Over the years I’ve had time to do a lot of research and I am amazed at what I’ve learned so far.  Our country has a lot of people that are struggling in silence and need our support.

So what makes an illness “chronic” anyway?  Great question!  The CDC (Center for Disease Control) defines chronic illness (disease) this way: Chronic diseases are defined broadly as conditions that last 1 year or more and require ongoing medical attention or limit activities of daily living or both.  Some suggest that an illness becomes chronic after 3 months of treatment and the illness is not in remission or cured. The CDC further suggests that 6 in 10 Americans live with at least 1 chronic illness, some with multiple.  Some examples of chronic illness include:

  • Chronic Lyme Disease*
  • Fibromyalgia*
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome*
  • HIV/AIDS
  • Lupus
  • MS
  • Diabetes
  • Heart Disease
  • Arthritis
  • Kidney Disease

With an estimated 133 million Americans to be diagnosed with a chronic illness by 2020, it is important ,now more than ever, for us to advocate for those who are impacted. Millions of Americans are struggling to pay for much needed prescriptions due to high drug costs, some having to chose between food and the medicine they so desperately need.  No one should ever have to choose between the two. My goal in life and the goal of my family is to help create awareness about chronic illness and advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves.  Be the voice, provide support and resources to those who need it most.

XO,

WJCfullsizeoutput_1239

*Denotes Chronic Illness Windy has been diagnosed with

What Happened?

Hi guys!  It’s been quite some time since my last post and it feels so good to connect with you again.  I had a relapse at the start of 2018 which caused me to get really sick.  I needed to take time to take care of myself and work with my doctors to try and get into remission.  While I’m not 100%,  in fact I’m still in treatment, it is important to me that I try to get pieces of my life back and this is part of that effort.  Just a heads up, my posts will not be as frequent as I would like for them to be due to my illness.  You see, I suffer from chronic fatigue, cognitive issues (memory loss and brain fog), pain and weakness in my hands that make it difficult for me to compose a post.  With that said, I may take several weeks to compose a single post or I may use a guest blogger who will be able to share his/her thoughts on chronic illness and offer a different perspective.  Either way we will keep you informed and bring you along the journey.

Over the last year a lot has happened.  In addition to the Chronic Lyme Disease, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and allergies to gluten and lactose.  I must admit that when I learned about the gluten allergy I was quite devastated.  You see, I consider myself (and my husband) to be a self-proclaimed “foodie”.  We love to find new places to eat and would plan date night around the newest restaurant to try and with the gluten intolerance, all of that has come to a screeching halt.  Instead of trying new fabulous foods, you can now find me reading labels, studying menus online and questioning restaurant staff to determine what I can and cannot eat.  It takes the fun out of eating when you have to be super careful about every single ingredient in a particular dish or if you have to question restaurant management about the kitchen process for keeping gluten free food from getting cross-contaminated by coming in contact with regular food.  As a result, we eat at home more, mostly due to the fact that I don’t have the energy to go anywhere, but even if I felt ok I would rather eat at home where I am in control of what I eat and likely not become ill.  Not as fun, but much safer for me this way.  More to come on my gluten journey in a future post.

With the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue I am always extremely tired and always in some sort of pain.  While I do my best to get as much rest as I can, at night it is hard for me to get to sleep.  My brain doesn’t seem to shut down enough to allow me to fall asleep so I have bouts of insomnia which leave me up watching my husband sleep wishing I could join him.  Of course this cycle leaves me more and more exhausted the next day and I eventually pass out when my body has decided it can no longer keep going.  I will go into more detail about Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue to help those who might be suffering with either of those illnesses.

Well, that’s it for this post!  Again, it’s so good to connect with you and I look forward to your comments and/or suggestions for future posts.

Until next time,XO

Windy

 

 

 

What Those Of Us Who Suffer From A Chronic Illness Want You To Know

Since being diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease, I have been blessed to have the support of a loving family (a special shout out to my hubby Carl) and some pretty amazing friends.  Whatever I need, they are always there to encourage me and do whatever they can to make things easier for me.  That being said, there are some things that you may not realize about me and others who suffer in silence out of love and care for those near and dear to us.

Most days, on the outside to most people I look completely normal.  If only you could see what’s really going on inside. There’s a lot going on.  I work hard to hide my symptoms because I don’t want others to feel sorry for me, more importantly, I don’t want people to worry about me.  I’ve always been one that is independent and self-sufficient, but with this illness, at times I need the help and support of others which is at times hard for me to accept.  You see, on the outside, you don’t see the anxiety I deal with (thanks to brain fog and short term memory loss), hoping I don’t forget something important, like how to get home (which has happened) or the intense pain that consumes every ounce of my being or the hand tremors that makes my writing impossible to interpret or the days that my legs just decide they just don’t want to cooperate and last but not least when out of the blue I lose my voice for no apparent reason.  What a way to live right?  That’s just scratching the surface.  Because I care so much for my family and friends (each of you), I go to great lengths to disguise what I’m going through.  If there’s too much attention on my symptoms, I become insecure and stressed about what others might think of me which is obviously no way to live.

I share all of this with you to say, 1- thank you for your support, it really means a lot to me, more than words could ever say and 2- most days there’s a lot going on with me so if I seem a bit off, especially in social settings it’s not you, it’s me.  I am hopeful that one day I will be able to report that I am in remission or that I am completely healed.  Until then, keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I will be sure to do the same for you and your family.

Thank you for reading!

XO,

Windy

Why Me?

Throughout my journey with Lyme Disease, I have often wondered why me?  There are millions of people in this world, how and why did I get chosen to go through this?  I have at times wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t have to deal with this at all.  When I allow myself to go down that path, it’s easy to feel sorry for myself and become resentful of the hand I’ve been dealt.

After spending some time down “Why Me Blvd”, I come to my senses and hear a small whisper, “why not you?  “If anyone can handle this, it’s you, Windy”.  I’m reminded of that verse in the Bible that says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”.  You see, my faith tells me that God will never give me more than what He has equipped me to handle.  While it might be hard, and at times, really sucks (just being honest), I have what it takes to get to the other side.  You see on the other side of this “test” is a “testimony” and I hold firm to that thought when I’m having a bad day.  I choose to believe that God is using me to help others and that brings me so much joy and comfort.  It’s not about me, it’s about Him!  I could very easily become angry at God and some might feel I have every right to, however, my mother used to tell me that “to whom much is given, much is expected”.   I realize that in spite of my illness, I am truly blessed and have a lot to offer.  I plan to do all the good I can for as many people as I can.  If I can help at least one person who is struggling with illness (or in any other way) then I’ve done my job.

I may never really know why I am dealing with Lyme and that’s ok with me.  I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and as long as I don’t allow myself to wallow in self-pity and stay focused on the bigger picture, God will see me through.

Still fighting,

Windy

You Are What You Eat!

Since being diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease, I’ve come across people who have suggested that what I eat might be having a negative affect on my body.  This is not something I wanted to hear because, well if you know me, you know how much I love to eat.  I must admit that my husband and I are known for going on date night and finding a new restaurant to try in downtown Austin.  We have a running list that we work from and are always adding to it!

During the month of January, I decided to give healthier eating a try to see if would help with some of the symptoms.  I gave up meat, coffee (boy was that hard), sugar, bread, and dairy!  Did I mention how much I love a good steak?  I started eating more fruits and vegetables and much to my surprise I slowly started to notice a difference in the way I felt each day.

The first week was the toughest as I started having caffeine withdrawals in the form of some pretty intense headaches. Once I got past that, things started to get better for me.  Right away, I noticed less inflammation, especially in my stomach area.  I think that is a direct result of me giving up bread and pasta, which I love almost as much as I love a great prime rib.  I also noticed the brain fog decreased a bit as I felt a greater clarity at times.  Not all the time, but it was a little better.  I didn’t feel as sluggish or drained as I normally did and less pain in my joints.  One new thing that I tried that I plan to continue is at least once per week having a carrot/turmeric shot with black pepper.  Since I started taking those shots, I have noticed less pain in my joints and less inflammation.  The black pepper helps with absorption.

To make a long story short, I like the way I feel when I’m making better food choices and will try to keep it as much as possible.  I have re-introduced some of the foods I had avoided, slowly and will only eat many of them in moderation if at all.  I’m still not back to my having my daily Americano from Starbucks, but’s that probably not a bad thing!

Still fighting,

Windy

 

 

 

 

So How Is Lyme Disease Treated Anyway?

If you know anything about Lyme Disease or Chronic Lyme Disease, you know there are various thoughts and opinions on how it should be treated.  When I think about my own treatment, boy I wish the doctor that treated me over 10 years ago would have properly diagnosed me, then maybe just maybe I would not be going through this right now.

You see, many doctors believe that when a person is bitten by a deer tick that is infected with Borrelia Burgdorferi, the bacteria that causes Lyme Disease if they are treated immediately with antibiotics for 28-30 days they should be ok and for the most part completely recover.  While in some cases this is true, the fact remains that more than 50% of those infected with Lyme Disease are misdiagnosed mostly due to the fact that the current method used to test for Lyme is outdated, therefore Lyme goes “missed” or undetected during routine tests.  As a result, a “clinical” diagnosis is often required which is typically based on a person’s symptoms, medical records and exposure to infected ticks.  I was diagnosed via a blood test for Lyme which by the way was off the chart positive!  The scariest part about Lyme Disease is that it mirrors or looks like so many other illnesses such as ALS, Parkinson’s Disease, MS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Rheumatoid Arthritis to name a few.

Once you’re properly diagnosed, your LLD (Lyme Literate Doctor) will work with you to develop the best treatment plan for you.  There are so many options, each person’s plan is unique to him/her based on the symptoms they are experiencing which can change daily as the Lyme bacteria travels to different parts of the body at will.

So let’s talk about my treatment plan.  Currently, I take a combination of antibiotics along with many other medications to treat the various symptoms I deal with on any given day.  Below is a snapshot of what I take:

Cipro, Bactrim, Minocycline, Cedex, Lyrica (Fibromyalgia), Lunesta (Sleep Aid), Armour Thyroid (helps regulate my thyroid), Diflucan (antifungal), B12 Shots (for energy), Flagyl, Cymbalta, multi vitamin, Zinc, Serrapeptase, Magnesium, Gabapentin, and Metronidazole.  I’m sure I’m missing a few, but I think you get the picture-I take a ton of medicine.  Some I take twice per day and a few only at night. I mentioned in an earlier post that I see my LLD every 3 months, that’s usually the time he will change up my medication so the Lyme in my body doesn’t become immune.

In addition to the medication, I try to detox (in at hot sauna) at a local spa at least once per month and get a massage to help with the muscle pain.  I thank God every day for medical insurance because without it the RX bill would be close to $2000 each month!  That’s why I’m so committed to lending my voice to help find a cure, not only for me but for anyone else suffering.  It’s costly in the area of finances and the body with all the medicine we are consuming each day.

We will find a cure!

XO,

Windy

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase before!  My mother used to say it all the time.  It’s the perfect phrase to explain how I feel most days.  On one hand, I am thankful that God has blessed me to see another day, on the other hand, I’m immediately greeted with a number of symptoms that can change just as quickly as the day.

You see, with Chronic Lyme Disease, every day is a new challenge.  You’re always beyond tired. At least I am. That’s one of the major symptoms I have to fight hard against each day. No matter how much sleep I get, I always feel as though I’ve been awake for several days straight and that pretty much sucks!  Sorry, but I’m just being honest.  It can be quite frustrating to know that you have zero control over how you feel.  Yes, medication helps, (God knows I take lots of it) but for the most part, the medication is working on other symptoms, however, the exhaustion still lingers.  On any given morning not only am I extremely tired, my feet are swollen, I have a major headache and sensitive to sound and light, and that’s just for starters.  In a single month, I can navigate between over 100 different symptoms and no two days are the same.  Sounds like a party right?

I’ve learned over time that the medication I take will make me sick, but that’s how I know it’s working and doing its job to fight the Lyme and the co-infections that live in my body. So basically, it’s par for the course.  When I notice the medication is no longer making me sick, that’s a true indicator that the bacteria has become immune and that new medication needs to be explored.  My LLD will typically change up my meds every 3 months just so the bacteria doesn’t get too comfortable and learn how to “hide” from the medicine and continue to do harm.  The Lyme bacteria is pretty smart!

I’m still learning to deal with feeling both sick and tired. I’m hanging in there and confident that one day soon this too shall pass.

XO,

WC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Marathon, Not A Sprint

It’s a few days after the Thanksgiving holiday and I have a lot to be thankful for!  Two years into my treatment plan and I’m seeing some progress.  During my last visit to my LLD, I received even more prescriptions, which left me a little down.  I was hoping that this visit, I would be allowed to decrease the amount of medication that I consume each day.  Even though that didn’t happen,  I realize that it could be a lot worse.  I could still be so sick that I can’t get out of bed or do anything for myself.  That’s progress, right?

On days where I feel myself feeling defeated or when I’m struggling to do even the simplest of things, I’m reminded that this process is a marathon, not a sprint.  I tend to want to see things done quickly so I can get on to the next thing, however, God has something else in store for me  during this season in my life.  I am learning to be patient, which has often been something that I’ve struggled with.   As I sit here typing this post, I’m feeling quite sluggish, I have a low-grade migraine and I have ringing in my ears.  Most people would not be able to function under these circumstances, but I have gotten used to it and God has given me grace to endure for he knows just how much I can bear. He gives me just what I need to run this race, and for that, I’m grateful.  My mother used to tell me all the time, “to whom much is given, much is required”.  I know that God has blessed me with much and he is using this illness to provide me with a platform to give him the glory and I intend to do just that!

‘Til next time,

WC